I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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