if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
is that a dick in a sweater?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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