sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Oh god it's open bar.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
