I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
