I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Panties = found
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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