I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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