Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
