end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
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I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
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When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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