Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
