you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
