I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
