Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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