I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
