Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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