You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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