JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
