I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize