Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
