My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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