She tied me up with her honor cords...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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