I just made out with a guy for $7.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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