just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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