a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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