He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
