dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize