I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
