I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
