Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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