I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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