even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i now understand why vodka
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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