I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
