I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn