evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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