Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.