butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you would pick up someone in the library
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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