I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove