When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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