Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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