He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I hate all girls vehemently.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm way too hungover for life right now
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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