best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
