I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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