i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
His nipple licking is glorious
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