I didn't shave. On purpose
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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