the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
