I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
