Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize