Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
