What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
