I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
where does the pee come out of this thing
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
