Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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