My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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