How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
