dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
