I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
