trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
