Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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