well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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