sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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