your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
