RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
