does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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