Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Mom said you looked used
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
