I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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