so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Damn victory sex feels great
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