I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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