New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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