**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
