1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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