dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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