She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
