Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
