If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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