i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
